Cavalorn's Journal

oh, you stupid wankers
Woman with face like slapped arse makes big fuss over adult toy being available on Tesco website.

First line, first bloody line:

'Tesco has been forced to remove a pole-dancing kit from the toys and games section of its website after it was accused of "destroying children's innocence".'

Because the 'toys and games' section is automatically for CHILDREN, right? People DO KNOW that the games section of a catalogue is NOT for kiddlywinks by default, don't they? God knows I've seen enough 'adult' games in other catalogues. Drinking games like 'Passout', murder mystery weekend games, even bloody 'Grass'...

'Dr Adrian Rogers, of family campaigning group Family Focus said yesterday that the kit would "destroy children's lives".'

Well, I suppose if you swung the chrome bar hard enough...

'He added: "Children are being encouraged to dance round a pole which is interpreted in the adult world as a phallic symbol.'

In the woods there grew a tree
And a fine fine tree was he...

Seriously. Where are 'children being encouraged' to do anything of the sort? This all comes back to the same thing: it's a game, ergo it must be being marketed at kids, ergo FOAM FROTH RANT OMG DAILYMAIL LET'S GET OUR FIZZOGS ON THE FRONT PAGE even if we do look like a family of foxes licking shit off a wire brush.

And this is the very best part.

'This should only be available to the most depraved people who want to corrupt their children.'

... fucking WHAT?

'Hi, I'd like to buy this product.'
'Are you depraved?'
'I like to think so.'
'Okay, do you want to corrupt your children?'
'Oh yes, I can't wait to corrupt the little bastards, the sooner they're bringing home the readies the better.'
'Well, sir, ordinarily I wouldn't be able to sell this to you, but because you're so jolly depraved and clearly want to corrupt your children, I'm happy to!'

And in a final note:

'Tesco today agreed to remove the product from the Toy section of the site, but said it will remain on sale as a Fitness Accessory.'

Good for you, Tesco. Every little helps.

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