Cavalorn (cavalorn) wrote,
Cavalorn
cavalorn

Headlines that sound like cryptic crossword clues

All genuine headlines. (Letter counts added purely for effect & mischief, however.)

1. Vaseline used to free tortoise Tommy from sundial (8,4)
2. Pizza dough explodes Edinburgh bin (6)
3. Telford sewers blocked by dead piranhas (4,4,3)
4. Pope Francis meets giant chocolate pope (7)
5. Swimming pool evacuated after artificial leg mistaken for paedophile (10)
6. Walrus bones discovered beneath London rail station (4,2)
7. Church plans to force out Wonga (9)
8. Charity seeks end to lunchbox ham (2,10)
9. Dried squash holds headless French king's blood (14)
10. Tomato excuse for prostitute in car (6)
11. Blue cockerel takes roost on fourth plinth (11)
12. Oscar winner haggis quits Scientology (7)
13. Pope blesses porn star's parrot (4,2)
14. Venezuelan government seizes toilet paper factory amid shortage (12)
15. Instant mash spill closes road (8)
16. Man poured beer on tiger? (11)
17. Russia loses control of satellite full of geckos (4,8)
18. Army of angry Spartans startle commuters on the Tube (5)
19. Seal discovered in Merseyside field (3)
20. Centuries of Italian history unearthed in quest to fix toilet (10,1,6)
21. Kazoo solo spoilt by Manchester audience (6,6)
22. Can you play against Uruguay on Thursday, George? (7)
23. Scores clamour to be a hermit (8)
24. Sex emerged in ancient Scottish lake (4)
25. Church vows to stop soaking homeless people (6)
26. Drone delivering asparagus to Dutch restaurant crashes and burns (7)
27. Panda may have faked pregnancy for buns (3,3)
28. Artist's plans to drop piano off tower are axed (10)
29. Bear falls through skylight into party then eats all the cupcakes (4,2,4)
30. Squirrel with plague shuts US park (9)
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