Cavalorn

so, Torchwood finale

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 21:16:06 GMT

CROCK OF SHIT.
Quite apart from the whole Ianto thing, the way in which the 456 were dealt with was some of the worst ass-pulling nonsense I've ever seen RTD come up with. This whole experience was like being driven around Silverstone for four days by the Stig and then on the fifth day you get Mister Blobby instead.

When a threat has been building up over the course of four extremely tightly scripted and brilliantly acted days of drama, you do NOT have the main protagonist work out how to beat the aliens AND carry out his plan in TEN FUCKING MINUTES.

I wouldn't mind so much, but I could see exactly what was coming. All Russell T Davies methods for beating the baddies involve either one or both of the following:

1. Telecommunications
2. Magic glowing fog

So as soon as there was talk of 'wavelengths', I just facepalmed. Are we going to have a 'transmission'? Are we going to 'turn their signal back on them'? Of course we fucking are. We're back in the land of Delta Wave and Mobile Phones Killing Cybermen and Everyone Phone The Doctor At The Same Time and oh just fuck off.

But oh, there's Moral Ambiguity, because he has to use a child. So do we get the child being given the chance to step up and offer his life for all the others because he wants to be brave like Uncle Jack? No we fucking do not, because that wouldn't be darkity dark enough.

It's just too depressing. The series up to that last half hour had been the best TV for years. And yet, with a stroke, RTD fucked it all up.

Afterthought:

When you've spent the week building up a truly terrifying alien menace, and the audience has no idea how on earth the human race is going to fight back, kludging a telecoms-related 'wavelength' answer together in 10 minutes amounts to a fucking insult.

Ludicrous moral price tags (omg child death!) do not balance out ludicrous ease of plot resolution. The only place where the Sacrifice of an Innocent Life mysteriously makes everything all right is in fucking Christianity and this is yet another instance of RTD bringing messianic logic into SF.

The great thing about SF is that it works with science logic (actual people solving problems by being actually clever and resourceful) and not magic logic (yea the Almighty deemeth that by the cosmic exchange rate, the sacrifyce of an innocent lyfe shall magickally redeeme everyone else).

It's not the first time he's done this, either. The end of Doctor Who Season 3, in which everyone clapped their hands and believed in fairies, and David Tennant turned into God. Or even the end of Season 1, in which Faithful Rose was transfigured and became a literal Dea ex Machina, a Goddess in the Blue Box.

It's always the same fucking formula with RTD: mass reversal, usually via telecommunications or magic glowing fog. The end of season 1 was going to be telecommunications but switched to magic glowing fog. Season 2: mass reversal. Season 3: telecommunications that give the Doctor the powers of magic glowing fog. Season 4: telecommunications, in which Donna presses buttons and makes all the daleks explode. Christmas Special: telecommunications. And so on.

hello

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 15:52:39 GMT

Torchwood

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 21:14:46 GMT

Five reasons why it's kicking arse.

1. Serial format. Telling a story in five hour-long episodes instead of one or two. Allows for themes to be developed, storylines to be spun in depth, and some actual anticipation to build.

2. Edge. We actually feel like there's risk.

3. Atmosphere. All that 'We are coming' stuff is simple but it works. And the way we don't get to find out quite what Awful Thing has happened in the past, but hints keep being dropped, is delicious.

4. Acting. Peter frigging Capaldi, and Ian Gelder in particular. They make it so easy to suspend disbelief.

5. British SFness in ABUNDANCE. We're back to the good old days of Quatermass and classic Who, folks.

... and just like that I'm cheered up again

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 14:24:24 GMT

Panel 6 made me laugh so hard my jaw hurts.

Tourist attraction seeks paid live-in actor to misrepresent English history to tourists

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 14:01:36 GMT

Wookey Hole Caves are apparently looking for a new 'witch' to teach visitors about witchcraft and magic. No doubt this will involve repeating most of the usual disproved horseshit. The statement from Daniel Medley hardly inspires confidence:

"Wookey Hole wants the appointee to go about her everyday business as a hag, so that people passing through the caves can get a sense of what the place was like in the Dark Ages.

"This was when an old woman lived in the caves with some goats and a dog, causing a variety of social ills including crop failures and disease. So the job is straightforward: live in the cave, be a witch, and do the things witches do."

Unfortunately, any incumbent of this position is going to be doing one very important thing that witches DIDN'T do: exist.

Causing a variety of social ills? What kind of cretinous statement is that? 'Being blamed for a variety of social ills', more likely.

'Game's most hated outcast' my shiny superpowered arse.

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 23:03:06 GMT

This article is a colossal heap of shit.

This patient and accurate comment explains why.

About time to post this again I think

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 15:54:03 GMT

NOT safe for work.

lulz

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 23:40:55 GMT

http://thereifixedit.com/

Fresher than Failblog and more lulzworthy, IMO.

Also reminds me of certain friends.

grrrrr

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 16:36:46 GMT

Waiting on a number of different emails from a number of different people.

Aha! I have mail!

... oh, it's spam.

Aha! Mail!

... a bot is following me on Twitter.

Woo! Mail!

... oh, it's more spam.

It's just somehow more annoying when you really, really want it to be something else.

For the record: how to get into the RPG writing industry

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 11:11:49 GMT

I received an email yesterday from a guy who had a very polite request:

'I want to make a living designing role playing games. I have no idea how to achieve this. I would like to know how you did it, to give me insight on what I must do.'

Hi,

I don't know how much help it'll be, but I'll gladly tell you how I got into the industry.

First, though, I ought to explain that very few people actually make a living writing roleplaying games. Those that do are, in my experience, either full-time writers who are under contract to produce very large amounts of material, or involved in the publishing side. Even then, there isn't a great deal of money in this business and there are quite a lot of people chasing it. The vast majority of writers that I know do RPGs as a sideline and have a regular day job too. Even the publishers, especially those who produce PDFs, don't usually derive their primary income from game sales.

That said, however:

I got my break simply by knowing someone who was already working in the field. (This was my old friend Ian Sturrock, who I had gamed with for many years.) He mentioned to me that the company he worked for (Mongoose) needed extra writing work, and was I interested? I said yes and worked like a madman for a month. They liked my stuff, and when the chance of a full-time position came up, I went for it and got it.

The advantage of working for Mongoose was that they had a stable of writers who got paid no matter what. So long as you could keep up with the workload, you were fine. Not that this was easy; the workload was roughly 70,000 words per month. After a year and a half, though, that punishing workload translated into a hefty back catalog of books in print with my name on them, making it much easier for me to get more work further down the line with other companies.

Obviously not everyone has industry contacts, but that's generally the way things work. People know other people and word gets passed around. The more work you've done, the more you're likely to get.

So, if you really want to break into games writing, the first thing to do is establish yourself as a writer. You need work out there with your name on it, and if it has good reviews, then that's a major plus. This may mean working for no recompense other than recognition, at least at first.

There are numerous ways to do this. Some magazines are willing to pay for games articles and material. If you work with D&D 4th Edition, then check out their online Dragon and Dungeon magazines:

http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/submissions

Also, check RPGnet and ENworld frequently.

http://www.rpg.net/

http://www.enworld.org/

Both of these forums have industry sections where you can find calls for writing work. This can range from established companies looking for full-timers to start-up groups willing to pay their writers with a free copy of the product instead of cash.

http://forum.rpg.net/forumdisplay.php?f=12
http://www.enworld.org/forum/open-calls-job-vacancies/

You'll also find writers and artists who are looking for work in those forums, so you could always offer your services there and see if anyone takes you up on it. Personally, though, I'd wait until you get published first, so that you can mention your published work.

Once you ARE published, then life gets a bit easier. There are closed groups and mailing lists for 'industry insiders' to communicate with one another, and that's where a great deal of the important networking happens. Roleplaying games are a surprisingly small field, so getting yourself known is absolutely crucial. Drop me an email once you have work in print, and I'll tell you where to go next.

I hope that's enough to get started. If not, let me know, and I'll rattle on a bit more.

Good luck!

blimeh

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 19:56:25 GMT

China bans gold farming.

Enchanting and creepy in equal measure

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 17:15:07 GMT

You lot may remember the last time I posted about Hellingly Hospital, the sprawling Gormenghast of an insane asylum where I used to live.

Someone's created a Facebook fan site for the place. People have been down there and left graffiti.

It's like the place is haunted.

Don't talk to strange little girls.

The Doctor will see you now.

Erm.

'He is troubled by delusory insects.'

Is that the architect?

I am totally stealing this.

nsfw. but watch it anyway.

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 16:02:11 GMT

More from the 'pagan stuff that doesn't suck' department

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 11:02:56 GMT

(From the Norwegian newspaper Aftenposten, translated by Andrew Pardy)

Worshipers of the Norse gods get their own memory grove - shaped like a ship.

The Pagan fellowship Bifrost will be allocated a separate field for Adults cemetery in Oslo, dedicated those who believe in the Norse gods.

”This means very much for both Bifrost, it's members and those who follow the Norse tradition” says Stine Robertson of Bifrost, who has worked with Gravferdsetaten, the owners of the cemetery, on the graves issue.

The agreement is that Bifrost pay for the development - and that the site will be used solely for crematory urns.

”If an organization is registered as a religious, so we will do our best to accommodate them when we receive such inquiries” says director Margaret Eckbo of Gravferdsetaten.

The site is the first of its kind in Norway, although Denmark received such a site earlier this year, when a tree in a cemetery in Odense was inaugurated. ”The Danes are our beliefs and have been an inspiration for us in this matter” says Robertson.

Bifrost envisions that the site be located within the ship-shaped rock formation. Memory plaques of those who are buried there will be placed on the stones. The ceremony, which is held prior to the placing of the plaque will be based on pagan traditions and spirit.

”We are now working on several proposals relating to the ceremonies in connection with funerals, and the law gives a certain level of freedom. We are quite free to grant the deceased their wishes” says Robertson.

Bifrost had ideally wanted a site outside the main cemetery, but is satisfied with the solution agreed with Gravferdsetaten, and do not think there will be much reactions to the site.

”There are already sites for Muslims and other faiths, therefore I can see no reason why there should be any fuss about this” says Stine Robertson.

”The site incorporates an unconsecrated chapel and sites for many faiths. The church is no longer responsible for the cemetery, the local people and Gravferdsetaten run it. I do not believe that the addition of a Pagan site will arouse any reaction” observes Pastor Anne Pettersen.

Archaeological Yumminess

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 10:42:13 GMT

Pre-Stonehenge ceremonial complex discovered near Damerham.

RESULT

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 22:14:50 GMT

Sky: The Complete Series now available on DVD.

This is extremely satisfying news. :D

Chuffing excellent write-up here.

Blood for blood!

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 19:32:01 GMT

'Asmodians are AWESOME, y'all.'

And the most gratifying observation:

'The writing is terrific, with strong characters deftly created.'

I am Jack's totally unbiased smugness.

hahahahahah awesomesauce

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 12:59:06 GMT

21 minutes in.

'What do they do, these pretend witches? Don't they ever notice their spells don't work?'

hee hee

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 12:06:08 GMT

Let gipsies jump NHS queues, say Daily Mail readers

Poland's Got Talent (Mam Talent as it's known over there)

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 11:54:26 GMT

I can't help but hear this in the voice of Chris 'Brass Eye' Morris

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 17:22:53 GMT

'We all want free speech, Peter, but why didn’t you look into it to see if it could happen before you asked 14,000 people to vote on it?'

(Context: 'English Democrat' Peter Davies was elected as Doncaster's new mayor. This is a rather probing interview following on from that.)

best D-face ever

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 13:27:45 GMT

Dan French: You've done a few roles now since Doctor Who, do you think you've shaken off the tag yet?

Freema Agyeman: I don't think that's a shag that needs to be...

Freema Agyeman: D:

From here. At 4.14.

(god I love her)

Curry and a bit of Motown

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 09:42:39 GMT

'The only true indigenous peoples in the UK are the Welsh, and they are angry enough already.'

Discount-tastic weekend for MMOs on Steam

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 13:02:06 GMT

Just a FYI: Steam is selling numerous MMOs at walloping discount prices this weekend.

City of Heroes Architect Edition is only £7.99. *nonchalant whistle*

And Age of Conan is £8.99. Come on, you know you want to!

oh this is just astoundingly good.

cavalorn@yahoo.co.uk — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 10:48:59 GMT

Bayou.

It's beautiful, it's captivating, it's harrowing. I've not felt this sense of awe since the glory days of Sandman and Hellblazer. Go and read it, please.

Massive props to amberdulen for pointing me to it.